A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

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What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Why couldn't Billy eat his dinner? Because a black man amputated his hands.

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Why couldn't the woman drive? She was dead.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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