how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

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A princess kisses a frog to aquire a prince.. then gets arrested for beastiality.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana Yoshimoto. A popular Japanese author of the book, Kitchen. She is incredibly talented and it would be a great honor to have her in your house, so you should open your door.

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What do you get when you cross an owl, with a bungee cord?..... My ass.

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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