Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

What is the difference between a refrigerator? Seven anchors because blue isn't vital for turtles to fornicate.

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...