A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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How many sheets did the Asian want on his bed? "You sheet on my bed I kill you!"

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Baby Seal walks into a club.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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