"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Why was the black man running? he was participating in race for the cure, a charity event where all proceeds go to breast cancer awareness.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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A Black man, a Latino, and a Midget get into a car. They drive to the county fair, get snow cones and ride the tilt-a-whirl.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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human centipede

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops