Roses are red Violets are blue Thats what they tell me because I'm blind

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why'd The Little Kid Drop His Ice Cream Cone? Because He Witnessed His Mom get Raped in front of his house by the man driving the ice cream truck and the realized that he was licking frozen semen......

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

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Roses are red violets are blue. A face like yours belongs in the zoo! But don't you worry I'll be there too! But not in the Ill be laughing at you

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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What do I hate? people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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