A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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what do you call 20 black people under the ocean? a tragic boating accident

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jsahgfvdjfhgdehv? oiyduhgfdushy

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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Why was the black person playing hockey? Because he found an interest to the sport during his childhood years.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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