Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there could be several reasons. The sight of another chicken, its wondering imagination, but because chickens cannot speak, therefore, can never know the true answer.

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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Why didn't susie use the jump rope She had no arms, replied carl No, susie doesn't like using jump ropes replies the mother

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

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A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Damn, I was gonna do my laundry but Amanda Todd drank all my bleach

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A guy at a baseball game....

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Q: Men are always very careful to have penises. Why don't women care enough to have them? A: That's a very good question.

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Who would win, Chuck Norris or a T-Rex? The T-Rex, Chuck Norris would get ripped apart like any other human-being.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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