Q: When there's something strange In your neighbourhood, Who you gonna call? A: The Local Authorities!

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why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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69

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Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

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An anti-joke

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Why did the deer cross the road? It didn't, the animal species is incapable of having a logical reason to possessing the will to cross a road. ruhtard

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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