What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

tell ur mom i love her before i die this would have been a better ending to the tintanic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man- Where can I find a book on the holocaust Book keeper- Have you tried comedy? Man- no I havent Book keeper- good it won't be there

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white and long? A New York winter

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops