Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Who the hell are you?

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar, he doesn't let a minor disablity distract him from having a good time.

An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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