What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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My spelling is horrible

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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A hooded black man walks into a Convenience store. He orders a cup of hot chocolate as it is very cold outside.

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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