Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

How do you make a plumer cry? Kill his family

An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

Donald Trump

You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

Who would win in a fight between superman and flash? Chuck Norris

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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