Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

A guy says to a palm reader "You look like you've seen a ghost. Palm reader replies "You've got cum on your hand."

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

how man

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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