- Anti Joke

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk...

What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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