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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

You wanna see something really scary?

What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

girls basketball

what did the apple say to the orange ? nothing, apples are a fruit and do not have any organs which allow it to be able to talk.

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

Whats dark, has an opening, and guys like to go into it? A Vagina

A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

what's funnier than AIDS on a holocaust boy? everything. AIDS and the Holocaust are two terrible things.

What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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