i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -27

In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

YEAH! LIKE RELLEZ! XD Anyway, sure, it depends, you don't get voted as the most pointless man on Horse-head network without working some for it, but if really weird comments impress you, then sure. Honestly though, I might have been flexing my show off muscles a bit more than usual, as in posting more stupid stuff than usual, BUT, that is because when a MAN meets a sexy WOMAN, yet another one than his WIFE, his already boiling testosterone burns with flames... ...And yeah, where where we again? Oh yeah, you acting a bit bimbo, and me going "RELLEZ" just to make you aware... Then added this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Read a Book.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock Who's there? A kind hearted serial killer who will win your heart emotionally and then shoot you to death unexpectedly.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops