What's your blood type? Red.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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What is the difference between a jew and girl scouts. Girl scouts come back from camp

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala. Why did the kangaroo die? Because two stapled koalas fell on its head.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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