Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the guy that lost the whole left side of his body? Well, he's all right.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats blue and fuzzy? Blue fuzz. Whats pink and fuzzy? Blue fuzz that's embarrassed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops