A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops