Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what did the cat say to the potato? meow

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops