Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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A man walked into a bar and a knife seventeen times.

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Hello penis

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Whats better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

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why did the Chinese guy take steroids? He didn't he's naturally small.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Cool I just got a free Minecraft gift code at http://freeminecraftgiftcode.net

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops