A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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why cant the blind man read brail? he has no fingers

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Why did the pregnant Mexican cross the border? Nobody knows. She was shot down on site.

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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