What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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Why didn't Johnny's father come home? He was killed in Afghanistan.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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whats something naked and nailed to a cross? jesus, idiot.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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9/11 my birthday

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Why did Rachel fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Rachel.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops