What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats worse than finding an actual joke on anti-jokes? A.I.D.S.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why did the black man shit himself? A: He experienced post-mortem bowel release after he was murdered due to his racial identification.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So a blonde, brunete, and red head are all on the side of the road for prostitution. so a man walks up to the red head with money. she takes it and runs off. a man goes up to the bruenete and hands her money, but she also takes it and runs. so a man walks up to the blond with money and she says "wait...we get paid to do this?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's red and has wheels? A red car

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops