What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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What do Tutankhamun and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead

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What did the mexican firefighter name his 2 children? Jose and Juan.

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a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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What does? 42

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops