How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, And really aggravate my allergies.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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