Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did Sally fall out of the tree? Because She had no arms or legs... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Knock-Knock? Who's There? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -34

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did Justin Bieber wake up Lady Gaga? He needed to ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Knock knock? Whose there? Colin Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I f**ked your mom last night. Will you marry me?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops