What's worse than seeing your grandfather dead on the floor? Seeing your grandmother standing over him with a knife

Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Fat? Jesse Z

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

my computer teacher just left the room. teehee JLR

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

What's the difference between an alien and Obama? - Nothing they are both aliens.

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

What did the bride do on her wedding day? Get married.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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