Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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DONT think about ELEPHANTS. Your thinking about elephants now.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Because he always increases the treble input in his songs, and he doesnt have a rod.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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Connor is such a dope, he doesn't even know Betty White jokes aren't funny.

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What did the Rose Bowl say to the Fiesta Bowl? We crushed the Orange Bowl.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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