Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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The child was fired from his job.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

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What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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