Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Barack Obama.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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