So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman has sex with an Asian man, then a white man, and then a black man. She chooses to be in a relationship with the black man because he is prepared for the responsibilities of a relationship and the other two men, though both are well endowed, are not ready.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Granny porn!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

**** *** *** ****** *** ** *** ***? ***** I bet you wish you could read that joke. It was **** hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do when you see someone from the kkk? Accept what you saw and move on with your day

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops