Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Why was the chocolate black? It's not black you idiot, its white

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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