What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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What is a mexican's favorite sport? Soccer, it is the national sport of mexico

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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What happened to the teenager who was raped and murdered? Who knows? They never found the body.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

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What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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