A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's funny about four black guys driving off a cliff in a Cadillac? They were my friends...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Alec cross the road? He didn't, he was hit by an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy get coal in his stalking. Cause he wants to be a geologist and that's what he asked for.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I like school Said no one ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops