When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

What did John name his dog? Doggy

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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