How did the old man die? He was shot after eating a rather large watermelon while skydiving out of a helicopter, boob fighting 5 toddlers.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Hello.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Boy: Knock Knock! Girl: Who's there? Boy: It's me, John. Girl: Oh, come in!

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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whats sad about 4 black people in a cadalic fallign over a cliff? it wasnt there car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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