What is your name? My name is Jeff

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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"Why did Suzie fall off the swing?" "She had no arms." "What did Suzie get for Christmas?" "Cancer." "What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a tub of dead babies?" "I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage." "What did Suzie get for Christmas from me?" "My tub of dead babies."

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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A black man walks into a bar in an all white neighborhood. He has a couple of drinks, pays for them, and politely calls a taxi for a ride home.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why did you step on my watermelon?

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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