Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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Q: What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? A: Ten babies nailed to eleven trees.

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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What's funny about anti-humor? Nothing.

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What's weirder than an asian? His dinner

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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What's 2+2? Fish

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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