How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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What's read,bubbly and looks out the window? A baby in a microwave

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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What do you say to a horse at the vet? Good god, look at that ear infection.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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A Jewish person had a robber in their house. Who broke in? Adolf Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops