What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What did Tarzan say when the elephants came over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill!

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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What's worse than finding an apple in your apple Finding a black guy in your school

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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There once was a man from Nantucket.

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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