Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Albino African Americans

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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