A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Roses are car Violets are giraffe this poem makes no sense microwave

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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