A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Ed Rambo. EXPERIENCE as John Rambo is kidnapped by AL QUAIDA (because he did not totally save their ass in the second or third movie riiiight) Leaving Ed Rambo, his son (Played by Eddie Murphy) up to the task of saving him, from Al Quaida`s real leader... Yes, its a conspiracy! "Okay, first Obama is supposedly a terrorist, but seriously the secret alliance between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?" Bullshit movie reviews. "So the explanation is that Ed Rambo is black because John Rambo married an Asian woman? What about their age? They are probably the same or something!" Mad Magazine. Moral: Yeah because this annoys you, and you all kinda love me I know its Al Qaeda, but who wants to type that... Now it does not say Skynet is watching anymore... After four times... Wow, god damn we need robocop to be real before the Termitetrisnators travel back in time into our dimension. AND NOT ADAM SANDLERS: ROBOCOP.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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What happened to the Asian who ran into the wall with a boner? He ejaculated his sperm, impregnating the wall. The wall went to the authorities, and the man was charged with rape. He is now serving a 10 year prison sentence, with no possibility of parole.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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