Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Whats worse than ten babies stapled to a tree? One baby stapled to ten trees.

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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"It smells like up dog in here." "What's up dog?" "Not much, what's up with you?"

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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