What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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What is the least funny thing in the world? This joke.

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Ask me if i'm a serial killer Are you a serial killer? Yes and I killed your family

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colour blind Which is sometimes quite annoying

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh wait... I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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