An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and about not being funny.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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A man gets kicked in the testicles... Ow

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Man walks into a bar, Has a few drinks and goes home.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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A praying mantis is very graceful

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops