What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

Do you know the difference between a dinosaur and a slice of bread? No. You're pretty stupid then.

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

What do you put your key on? A key chain.

Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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