there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

Why did the black guy get a boner? The nitric oxide levels in his trabecular arteries and smooth muscle of his penis rose, causing his arteries to dilate and therefore enlarging his penis.

Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Yo mamma so fat that when she gets in bed she gets sleepy

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

Q: What did the clown say when he got in a car accident? A: Nothing. He died.

What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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