What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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What did the mexican do after he finished his taco? He was eaten by a dinosaur.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Your mom is so fat she is larger then the average person.

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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A man walks into a sofa. BANG

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Q. What do you call an average middle-aged white man who walks into a bar and asks for a drink? A. Not a very funny joke

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black chicken. kfc

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What's worse than fingering your sister and finding your father's wedding ring ? 3 bee stings.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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