A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman

A miserable man committed suicide.

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

Doctor: Knock knock. Patient: Whose there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor. Patient: Interrupting doc... Doctor: Your son has AIDS and will die soon.

My heart is in my hands. Call an ambulance.

How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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