What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

A man walks into a bar falls into the street and gets run over. It was very tragic

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...