- Anti Joke

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

What is white and long? A New York winter

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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