Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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What did the cat say to the hamster? Meow

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Why did the chicken fall down? Because it wanted to have fun

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple...... some of these jokes

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

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what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

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Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

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Girl fight: Teachers take them to dq Boy fight: Lunch and recess in the library.

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Why is this joke funny It isn't

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops